


Tangled Webs

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-09
Updated: 2004-08-09
Packaged: 2019-02-05 13:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12795552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: None





	1. 1. Prelude: Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

"I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner."

 

What? You can't! You have me...

 

"An apprentice you have already, Qui-Gon, impossible to take another."

 

Thank you, Master Yoda.

 

"The code forbids it."

 

Listen to Master Windu, Qui-Gon, please.

 

"Obi-Wan is ready to take the trials. He is headstrong and impatient and needs to trust more in the living Force, but there is nothing else I can teach him."

 

How can you say that? We are life-bonded - aren't we? Oh Force, you don't want me any longer. Why didn't you teach me this, Master, teach me how much a shattering heart can hurt? Have you stopped loving me? No - I will not show you how you've ripped my heart out; I will not be weak in front of you.

 

"I am ready to face the Trials."

 

"Our own judgment we will keep as to who is ready, Padawan. Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later, more pressing matters we must deal with now."

 

Do you sense my distress, Master Yoda? Is that why you are delaying the inevitable? He doesn't want me anymore.

 

"The Queen is returning to Naboo; this may escalate the conflict"

 

Force above, no more, don't do this...

 

"And draw out her attacker."

 

The mysterious thing from Tatooine, the one who almost took you from me, Mas... No, you no longer wish me to call you that, do you?

 

"You will return with her to Naboo; this may be the clue we need in solving the mystery of the Sith."

 

And then you will reject me... deny my place in your life as you are denying I have a place in your heart.

 

"Yes, my Masters."

 

Damn you, Qui-Gon.

 

Bow to the Council, Obi-Wan, don't forget your manners, the traditions you've been taught.

 

I should wait for Qui-Gon to precede me from the room, but...I need to get away from here. Gods, it hurts. He's probing my shields, trying to get under them. NO! I won't let him hurt me any more. I can't let him in; that last rejection, his disappointment and disapproval of me would kill me, and I know it.

 

I'm walking faster and faster; he has longer legs, but he also has the boy clinging to him, so he can't catch up. For once I am almost grateful. I can't really blame the child; he can't help what he is, but he is dangerous. No - I will not give in to those unworthy emotions. The boy is blameless - an innocent in all this. It is Qui-Gon who chose to thrust all of us into this maelstrom. I will not take my anger and pain out on a child; to do that would make me unworthy to be Jedi, and if I have my trials to face soon, I must be prepared.

 

I had to try and understand what Qui-Gon was doing, but did he have to thrust the blade deeper into my already shredded soul?

 

"It's not disrespect, Master; it's the truth."

 

"From your point of view, perhaps."

 

"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it; why can't you?"

 

"The Council will decide Anakin's fate. That should be enough for you. Now get on board."

 

"Master sir - I don't want to be a problem..."

 

He is so gentle and loving with the child, the way he used to be with me. Even breathing hurts now, the pain is so all encompassing. Can't he even feel my pain in the slightest? We have a life-bond; if he wanted to know my feelings, he could discover them no matter how much I shield myself.

 

Face the facts, Obi. He doesn't want to know your feelings. He no longer has room for you in his life; he has "the chosen one." You know he didn't really want you as Padawan in the first place; after all, remember Bandomeer. It took nearly dying to make him realize that we'd already bonded. And now... now he has a grand and glorious destiny. Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master to the Chosen One.

 

Gods above - I hurt.

 

If only I could make this pain go away. Please - Force be merciful and please make this pain go away.

 

END


	2. 2. Opening Act: Choice

We talked briefly as we waited for Jar Jar to return. Little was said, but I could feel him, or should I say I couldn't feel him; he was still shutting me out. He was still isolating himself from me. I had avoided him most of the flight back to Naboo, choosing to spend my time in meditation or in the cockpit with Panaka and Ollie. He spent his time with Anakin. The wounds still cut deep. Healing would be a long time in coming. So I stayed away, shut him out. Except for those few minutes where both Jedi were required to attend an audience with the Queen.

 

She looked at me as I walked in behind my soon-not-to-be Master, as if to say, "I see your pain, and I am sorry for it. Neither of us has asked for what destiny has given us. But we must be strong, I for my people and you for yourself. We will survive." In a strange way it was that look which gave me the strength to approach Qui-Gon and try to put this behind us.

 

I still kept my shields up, still hid my shattered heart, but I smiled and I thanked him for believing in me. He said I was ready, that he foresaw I would be a great Jedi Knight, that I was a wiser man than he. If Qui-Gon believed in me, I would do as he wished. I will take my trials when this is over, and I will request an assignment as far away from Coruscant - and him - as I can. I will heal - eventually. Perhaps life-bonds are not meant to last forever...

 

It all happened so fast - the meeting of the resistance and the Gungans, sneaking into the city and finding a way into the hanger. Then he was there, the Sith. A sense of serenity settled over my mind even as cockiness entered the swing of my hips and added spring to my step. I knew without knowing. I smiled enticingly as I shrugged out of my robe, not even looking at Qui-Gon but aware our every movement was synchronous, in perfect harmony. The Sith looked at me, puzzled a moment, I think. After all - how could I smile when I was going to face my death? He did not understand. A solution had presented itself. I did not have to stand by as my Master, my life-bonded, left me; I could take my fate into my own hands and find peace my own way. There would be no more pain once I was one with the Force. A coward's way out? Perhaps. But it gave me the calmness and the clarity I needed to fight.

 

We fought hard, Qui-Gon and I delivering lightening fast blows. There is a freedom that comes when you expect to die. I was ready to meet my fate, to be embraced by the Force. Then I fell and Qui-Gon went on ahead, not waiting for me as he would in the past. Why he did that, I will never know. I tried to catch up and nearly did, but then the force-field locks cycled, and we were each trapped in our own compartment. Qui-Gon tried to meditate; the Sith seethed and raged. I... I waited.

 

Once more I was not fast enough; once more I was trapped as I watched my Master, my life-bonded, fight without me. I watched his movements, usually graceful and perfect, become mechanical and sloppy. He was tiring. I willed the shield cycle to hurry but...

 

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Qui-Gon, my love - my life. It would not end like this - I swore it by the Force that was within me. The rage boiled and ate at me, filling the empty, shredded places. It gave me the strength to survive the Sith, to make sure Qui-Gon was avenged. I could no longer take the coward's way out. I had to ensure my beloved's survival. I fought, hardly perceiving my movements and motions. The blow to my head didn't even faze me, although it was powerful enough to make my vision dim for a moment and my ears ring. That was how I was pushed into the pit by a pulse of the Force and my saber lost. That did not stop me. The Force encompassed me now; I was one with the living Force as I had never been. I found the strength, reached for Qui-Gon's saber, and... the Sith fell, defeated.

 

Rushing to his side, I cradled him in my arms. No! Don't let this happen!! I howled in mental agony.

 

"It's too late for me, Obi-Wan. It's too late."

 

"No - Master"

 

"The boy - you must train him. He is the chosen one."

 

With a brush of my cheek you left me. I felt the heart that beat for both of us slow and fade. NO! Tears dripped down my face, blood-red tears as the head wound finally made itself known to me. I didn't care.

 

Then choose, young Padawan. My head shot up. Around me I could feel them gathering, those that had gone before us into the Force, the ancestors. Your pain is known to us; we feel it. We give you the option. Now - choose.

 

What choice was there? The answer was obvious, at least to me. Let him live, I beg you; I ask nothing for myself, no mercy, no joining with the Force. He is needed; I am not. He is my heart.

 

So be it - the choice is made. The energies that were the ancestors swirled chaotically around me. I felt them enter me, and I felt all that I was pour into my Master, my love and life-bonded. And I watched as his chest rose and fell and rose again. The wound closed and faded. His eyes flickered.

 

And then darkness descended. The pain was gone.

 

END


	3. 3. Act II: Aftershocks

The light brush of a gentle hand led him back to wakefulness. Blinking sleepily he took in his surroundings - an opulent room with mirrors and tapestries and silken hangings draped around above and over the massive bed on which he lay. There was an open balcony and a view of spectacular gardens. A silken robe was thrown over a large, plush chair in a small sitting area... and there was a very large man sitting looming over him next to his bed.

 

The large hand brushed against his cheek as a soft mental caress whispered in his mind. He recoiled quickly, slamming down mental shields by instinct alone and scrambled back against the headboard, eyes large and fearful. "Who... who are you?" he whispered, confused and frightened.

 

"Obi-Wan?" The large man's voice was soft, melodic and concerned. His brow had crumpled into lines of worry, and the young man fought the overwhelming urge he suddenly had to smooth those lines away with fingers or... lips.

 

"Your name is Obi-Wan?"

 

"No, Padawan, Obi-Wan is your name. Mine is Qui-Gon Jinn. I am your Master; do you not remember?"

 

"What's a Padawan? If you're my Master, am I a slave?" The young man - Obi-Wan - asked, even more confused than before. His head was beginning to ache terribly. Reaching up to massage his temples, his fingers came into contact with a bandage. "I've been injured?"

 

"Yes, Obi-Wan, you were. We were in a battle with a Sith lord; I was wounded by his saber thrust; when I came to you were lying beside me with a head wound and no sign of the Sith. You've been unconscious for three weeks; I've been very... concerned," the large... Qui-Gon replied. "And a Padawan is an apprentice, not a slave. You are a student, and I am your teacher. You're training to be a Jedi; Queen Amidala provided us this suite of rooms, the least she could do for the heroes of Naboo - or so she said. I've been your Master... your teacher since you were thirteen; you are now twenty-five," Qui-Gon continued softly.

 

"Why can't I remember?"

 

"I do not know, my Obi-Wan, I do not know. I'll go and summon the healers; maybe they can tell us what's going on. Lie back down; you are safe here." He watched as his student snuggled back down under the covers. Placing a hand lightly on Obi-Wan's forehead in a soothing manner, he used a simple mind trick to help the young man drift off. "Sleep, Obi-Wan," he commanded. Sea-blue eyes clouded over and eyelids grew heavy. Soon after Obi-Wan tumbled into slumber.

 

Qui-Gon sat there for long moments watching his student... his life-bonded sleep. Running a tired hand over a weary face, he stood - feeling every bit his forty-nine plus years, and left his love to sleep. Going into the common room, Qui-Gon quickly contacted the healers to tell them the latest news of Obi-Wan's condition and then sank wearily into a large comfortable chair. The room was dark, as it was well into the night hours, but he didn't turn on a light. Light would just illuminate his ravaged features. Obi-Wan couldn't remember his life, their life together. The Force would not be so cruel as that, would it?

 

Obi-Wan had been so close to death that Qui-Gon could actually feel the Force gathering around his beloved, preparing to accept Obi-Wan into its embrace. But Obi-Wan had fought back and survived. He'd kept the promise he'd once whispered to Qui-Gon, as they lay curled into one another after a particularly dangerous mission. 'Don't ever leave me, my Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon had whispered almost desperately. 'I won't, Master; I promise I will be with you forever,' his love had muttered before sinking into a well-deserved slumber.

 

But at what cost had his love kept that promise, made long ago? "My Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon choked, finally letting loose the grief and terror that had clutched at him these past three weeks. Tears streamed unchecked down his cheeks as he let the pain and terror go. He'd had to be strong - strong for Anakin, for Amidala and for the Council. To have Obi-Wan with him and yet to lose the man that had somehow found a way into Qui-Gon's well-shielded heart... "No - by the Force, I will not let him go without the same fight that he gave to stay with me," Qui-Gon swore fervently. "We will overcome this, beloved, I swear it!"

 

The door chime broke him out of his dismal thoughts and heralded the healers' arrival. Perhaps they could shed some light on what was happening.

 

"We are unsure of what caused the amnesia, but... we have found an anomaly," Jedi Healer Destine informed Qui-Gon some time later. She and her fellow healers had spent the better part of an hour examining the sleeping Padawan, using the Force, modern medicine and technology to aid them. The others had left quietly, leaving Destine to speak with the concerned Master.

 

"An anomaly?" Qui-Gon asked, afraid of what he would hear next. No more, by my ancestors, I can take no more ill news, he cried mentally.

 

"There is a swelling along his cerebral cortex that is pressing on his memory center. We believe that the blow he received to his temple from the fight with the Sith is the cause. This would also explain the prolonged unconsciousness Padawan Kenobi has experienced. The swelling is going down even as we speak, but we do not know how much bruising will be left behind. The problem is that the human brain is exceedingly delicate and still very much a mystery to us despite all our science and control over the Force. As such I would caution strongly against bringing the Force to bear on it."

 

"We caution you not to attempt to restore his memories in such a way. Flooding his memory center with your version of his past will overwhelm and possibly do great damage to him. We feel his memories will return over time. The most current memories will probably be the last to surface as they are obviously painful ones. Already we sense that his long-term memories of childhood have returned. The rest will, Force willing, return with time. You must exercise patience and control, Master Jinn. Padawan Kenobi needs time and peace to heal properly, and he cannot be rushed into anything. You have a brand new Padawan again, Master, and you shall have to be very delicate with him."

 

"We are recommending to the Council that you both be taken off active duty and sent to the healing colony on Sellonia until Obi-Wan has recovered physically and hopefully mentally. We will recommend that you go with your Padawan because it will be worse for him if you are not there. The life-bond is still active between the two of you, even if Obi-Wan can't remember. Separating him from you when he is in such a state will do more harm than good. But again, I caution you not to mention the life-bond; also keep your mental touches to a bare minimum for the moment. When he is stronger and the injury more healed, you may begin using your teaching bond, but not before. I will apprise the healers' temple on the planet of Padawan Kenobi's condition as well as give them my recommendations."

 

"Now - all the Healer's insight aside, how are you, my old friend?" Her warm eyes softened as she took in Qui-Gon's haggard appearance. Her friend was taking this harder than even Xanatos' betrayal. But then, he hadn't been life-bonded to that piece of Rancor bait, and who could resist the vibrant young man that had broken through Qui-Gon's icy demeanor? If for no other reason than that, Destine would move all the heavens of her homeworld to see that Obi-Wan recovered.

 

"I have been... better," Qui-Gon admitted. "Tell me honestly, Destine, don't cover your answer with a healer's tone, will he recover his memory?"

 

"I don't know, Qui, and that is as honest as I can get. Head injuries are so hard to predict. He may never regain his memory at all but will still be able to live a normal life - all his training is instinctive now, and that which isn't can be re-taught. I also believe that he will always gravitate towards you. You are life-bonded, lovers and in love. That sort of attachment relies on emotion as much as memory. But on the other hand, he may remember everything come the morning. I don't know what else to tell you," Destine answered honestly, her heart aching for her friend.

 

"That you are honest with me is enough," Qui-Gon replied. "He will remember, Destine; he has to remember." Destine had never heard Qui-Gon so guilt-stricken or desperate.

 

"These past few weeks, the mission, the boy - I've been harsh with him, Destine. I stood before the Council and took Anakin as my Padawan before I'd even had chance to tell Obi-Wan, before I could approach him and tell him I believed he was ready for his Trials. There just wasn't time, and the boy needed protection. He... I felt an incredible wave of pain and rejection and shock over our bond before Obi-Wan shut me out completely. Then we argued about the boy, and I let him know by my tone how displeased I was at what I perceived as a lack of faith in me. It wasn't; he was just trying to understand."

 

"When he tried to apologize before the battle, I brushed it aside with idle words and pleasantries. But he stood by me, fought by me, protected and saved me somehow. Placing himself near death for me - even though I caused him such torment. I need him to remember, my friend, so that I can tell him how sorry I am, how much I love him... how I want him with me forever, no matter what. I want him to know that our life-bond is everything, that he is everything that is precious to me." Qui-Gon felt the tears run down his face again. He couldn't stand it if his Obi-Wan was gone, if he never forgave Qui-Gon his arrogance and blindness or the cruelty Qui-Gon had heaped on him. Qui-Gon needed his love in his life, for all his life. He was empty without his Obi-Wan.

 

Destine sat a moment, taking in all that Qui-Gon had confessed. This would explain Obi-Wan's reluctance to heal, to remember. "This... forgive me, my friend, but this could very well be a large part of the problem. Emotional scars mingled with his trauma - he could be suppressing that which is most painful to him, your rejection of him and your bond. You need to be gentle, Qui-Gon, and extremely patient. You cannot mention these events to him - at all! You cannot apologize or - Force help you, you cannot show him the love you wish to. It may only scar him further. He must remember on his own with no prompting - and you must be ready for the emotional backlash, for there will be one. As you said, you've hurt him. Badly."

 

"But I didn't reject him..." Qui-Gon began to protest.

 

"Qui-Gon, my foolish, stubborn, obstinate, blind friend - you stood before the Council without even sparing Obi-Wan a single moment of explanation and took another as your Padawan, while your present Padawan, your lover, was standing next to you. You shut him out, argued with him - did you even try to reach out to him on the voyage, or did you spend the majority of the time with the boy? Did you show any concern at all to Obi-Wan's well being? Did you ask how he felt on the verge of one of the most serious battles he had ever been in? Did you ask him if he was ready? Afraid? Anything?"

 

"No... Gods... how he must have felt. After that flash of pain he shielded himself tightly against me. I was so hurt by this I didn't even think that he could have been trying to protect himself from me. What have I done, Destine? What have I done?" The moments leading up to the battle played over and over in Qui-Gon's mind, tormenting him - damning him with the truth of his actions. He'd hurt Obi-Wan - deliberately and without remorse.

 

"Qui-Gon - how would he have felt if you had fallen with this still unresolved between you; how would you have felt if he had not survived?" Qui-Gon's head shot up, and the stricken look in his eyes, the sudden pallor of skin and shaking of his hands said it all.

 

Remorselessly she continued, "Life-bonds are not things to be taken lightly, and to reject one's life-bonded, even unintentionally - the damage you could have done is beyond measure. You've been given a second chance to make things right. Don't mess this up. You nearly destroyed the most precious gift anyone has given you - Obi-Wan's heart. It is beyond fragile, kept safe only by your love and support and the trust the two of you have - had - for one another. You've been given a second chance, my friend. One I suspect was bought for a higher price than you could possibly imagine. A price that I suspect Obi-Wan paid, willingly, gladly."

 

"I shouldn't tell you this; it was something that the healers were going to address with him privately, but considering... We did catch one or two of his memories from the time of the battle. He wanted to die, Qui-Gon. He went into that battle hoping to die so that you could be free to teach your 'chosen one.'"

 

A cry of denial escaped from Qui-Gon, as if to erase her words, but still Destine continued; her friend needed to know what he was up against.

 

"Then there was an image of him cradling your dying body, and then... the Ancestors spoke to him, Qui-Gon. They gave him a choice, your life or his. He said..." Tears began to fill her eyes as she allowed Obi-Wan's memory to take control of her." He said, 'Let him live, I beg you; I ask nothing for myself, no mercy, no joining with the Force. He is needed; I am not. He is my heart.' He asked for nothing, no respite, no peace, no merging with the Force. He did not think he deserved it."

 

Pain flowed out of Qui-Gon then. Raw, animalistic pain. He did this to Obi-Wan. He made Obi-Wan happily seek his own death. Oh, my Obi-Wan, what have I done to you, to us? I will make this up to you. I will show you just how much you are loved, how important you are to me... Oh, my Obi-Wan, what have I done?

 

END


	4. 4. Act III: Shadows

The dreams started almost immediately once the healers and Qui-Gon had stopped putting him to sleep by the use of the Force. For the most part the dreams were full of vague, shadowy images. It was rather like watching clouds ghost over the moon, silver-gray wraiths without substance. But they left such longings in their wake.

 

He could remember... some things. Everything up to just before his thirteenth birthday. He remembered his mother and father as well as his father's death and his mother's remarriage. He remembered his stepbrother Owen and his stuffed Wookie. He remembered his name was Obi-Wan Kenobi but his family used to call him by a pet name - Ben. Obi-Wan remembered being chosen for the academy, his problems with his temper, his friend Bant and his rival Bruck. But that was where the memories stopped.

 

The Healers said it was all right for him to know the basics of how Master Qui-Gon took him as a Padawan. So, Master had told him about the mission to Bandomeer and how it was Obi-Wan's courage and his ideals that made Qui-Gon realize they were meant to be Padawan and Master... but Obi-Wan still couldn't remember it himself.

 

Sometimes he would catch Master looking at him unguardedly. The emotions that flitted across Qui-Gon's face in those moments, the feelings that shadowed his eyes were so... confusing. It made Obi-Wan wonder what Qui-Gon was hiding. What important things, really important things he couldn't remember. Force above, as if losing his memory wasn't enough! Why couldn't he remember? What was stopping him?

 

Groaning in frustration, Obi-Wan threw off the thin sheet that covered him. He couldn't sleep for hours after a dream, and he had long since stopped trying to force himself back to sleep.

 

Wandering out of the ocean-side cottage he shared with his Master, Obi-Wan breathed in the salt-tang of the air as he watched ghost clouds chase over the moon. The peaceful sound of ocean swells breaking on the sand filled him with serenity.

 

This whole island was a haven of serenity. There were lush tropical forests, balmy days and cool nights laden with the scent of tropical night-blooming flowers. There were green mountains and silver sand beaches. Waterfalls with hidden grottos and gentle streams. All of it surrounded by the crystal green Sellonian sea. The Healing complex was a series of unobtrusive buildings made of ancient stone and covered with vegetation. There were little cottages that dotted the island at intervals, for the recovering. At the moment Obi-Wan and his Master were the only people on the island save the Healers, so they had the run of the place.

 

But none of it seemed to help him, Obi-Wan thought in frustration. They'd been here two weeks and still nothing. The swelling was gone; the wound was healed. Even his Master's wound was gone, and that was by far the more grievous one. So why couldn't Obi-Wan remember? All the Healers would tell him was that these things take time. The Force worked as it saw fit. If Obi-Wan heard one more platitude, he'd scream. Their comforting words were anything but comforting!

 

"Why can't I remember?" he whispered, anguished. There was something... just beyond his grasp. An intangible something that preyed on his mind. A... connection he needed to remember. It called to him, just like the siren song of the ocean. It lured him towards... Master Qui-Gon.

 

A low moan from his Master's room had Obi-Wan spinning and moving towards the sound without a thought. Qui-Gon needed him.

 

The veranda doors of Qui-Gon's room were open. The gauzy white curtains billowed like phantoms in the breeze. He could just make out his Master's shifting form through the thin material. Qui-Gon seemed to be tossing and moving as if caught in the throes of some dream. Instinct took over, and Obi-Wan reached out thoughtlessly to touch his mind to his Master's through their bond. He wanted to soothe Qui-Gon's troubled sleep. But before he could complete the connection...

 

"Ohhhh... my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon moaned. His large hands moved restlessly over his chest, almost caressingly. Obi-Wan started at the sound, the almost raw desire that colored Qui-Gon's voice. What was his Master dreaming about?

 

Slipping onto Qui-Gon's dream, Obi-Wan slipped into a memory... a memory of himself and Qui-Gon. An intimate and erotic memory of himself and Qui-Gon.

 

"Ohhhh, right there, Obi... Force that feels good!" Qui-Gon moaned in pleasure. Strong, agile fingers worked on a particularly tense set of muscles in Qui-Gon's shoulder blades.

 

"I warned you on Gaelon that going against the Council's orders would not be a good idea, Master," Obi-Wan gently reminded as he worked on the tormented back that was directly in front of him. The hot water of the large tub they were soaking in had helped to loosen the too tense Jedi Master so that the massage could properly work all the knots out.

 

"Stop chiding, Obi. Those people needed help despite what we were told. They were being blackmailed by their own government officials into smuggling spice, and when they were caught, the officials just confiscated their goods anyway."

 

"I agree that they needed help, Master; I just disagree with the manner in which you decided to help them. You realize we started a civil war, don't you?" Obi-Wan asked.

 

"Yes, love, I realize what we did. Thank you for supporting me with the Council despite your disagreement over my methods."

 

Obi-Wan stopped working on the now sufficiently loosened muscles of his Master and wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon's waist. "You are my Master, my love, my lover and my life-bonded. I will always support you even if I don't always agree with you," Obi-Wan informed him, wearing his emotions out in the open for Qui-Gon to see.

 

Moving Qui-Gon's hair out of the way, Obi-Wan placed petal soft kisses on the sensitive skin he'd exposed, worshipping the flesh of the man he adored. Shivers began to chase up and down Qui-Gon's spine, and he pressed firmly back into the chest of his life-mate. "Mmmmm... I don't deserve you, you know," Qui-Gon sighed happily.

 

"No, you don't," Obi-Wan teased. "Luckily for you, though, I deserve a wonderful, noble, loving, stubborn, maverick, roguish Jedi Master - so you're stuck with me."

 

"Bratling," Qui-Gon growled as he turned suddenly, sending waves of water sluicing over the sides of the tub and capturing Obi-Wan's mouth, ravishing it into docility.

 

Qui-Gon... please, Obi-Wan begged, projecting luscious images of Qui-Gon taking him there in the bath.

 

Qui-Gon's breath caught. He was a man truly blessed. His life-mate was as adventurous sexually as he was circumspect on his missions. And Qui-Gon loved to explore his mischievous bratling's fantasies to the fullest, as they were both rewarded with unbelievable pleasure.

 

This is what you really want, beloved? he asked, just to make sure. The last thing he would ever do was hurt his Obi-Wan.

 

Yes, Qui-Gon, oh yes, came the intoxicating mental caress. Obi-Wan broke off the mind numbing kiss and turned, crossing his arms on the tub edge and using them as a pillow. His hips were thrust out and back invitingly and his legs slightly spread.

 

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon sighed out loud. He never failed to be moved by the sight of his love's strong, agile body. It was as close to perfect as one could get.

 

Qui-Gon reached for the bottle of bath oil they had used to scent the water and poured a liberal dose into his hand to warm it. He let it trickle between Obi-Wan's firm cheeks, admiring the way the taut globes of flesh tensed and relaxed. He slowly pushed a large, blunt tipped finger into Obi-Wan, sliding it back and forth slowly, preparing his lover. A second finger was added, and he began to scissor them back and forth, rotating the fingers slightly. Obi-Wan began to moan, a soft, needy sound that spiced the moist air of the bathing room. Qui-Gon added a third finger, still scissoring and rotating his fingers while every so often brushing them against the sensitive nub of nerves that made up Obi-Wan's prostate.

 

Master, please! Obi-Wan whimpered mentally as he thrust back on those maddeningly gentle fingers.

 

"Out loud, my Obi-Wan, say my name out loud," Qui-Gon demanded, knowing how much Obi-Wan secretly loved saying Qui-Gon's given name at times like this and how much he loved hearing Obi-Wan use it. Qui-Gon grasped Obi-Wan's erection and began to stroke it in counterpoint to his invading fingers, causing ice-fire to race along Obi-Wan's hypersensitive nerves, so intense was the pleasure.

 

"Qui-Gon, please! No more teasing..." Obi-Wan panted softly. He wanted Qui-Gon inside of him when he came, and Obi-Wan was so close to the edge he could almost taste it!

 

"No more teasing, love. I promise." Placing the tip of his straining cock against Obi-Wan's well-prepared anus, Qui-Gon slowly, gently sheathed himself in the tight, oiled heat of his life-mate's body.

 

"Ohhhh yessss," Obi-Wan moaned erotically, moving back and forth, impaling himself first on the spear of Qui-Gon's erection then thrusting himself into Qui-Gon's fist.

 

"No ,Obi. Tonight I do all the work," Qui-Gon murmured possessively, stilling his lover's movements with a firm grasp on Obi-Wan's hips.

 

Qui-Gon began to move slowly at first, a slight, shallow motion meant to whet their appetites and push them towards greater need. Obi-Wan moaned and begged and pleaded for more, his language becoming more coarse and descriptive as he was further aroused. Gone was the controlled, deferential young man that was his student. In the student's place was a writhing, sensual, carnal man whom Qui-Gon could never get enough of. His Obi-Wan was out of control. It was a truly erotic sight.

 

Qui-Gon's hips and hand began a fast rhythm that soon turned into a pounding staccato of thrusts as his passion for his Obi-Wan pushed him beyond his limits. Qui-Gon made sure to brush the tip of his cock against Obi-Wan's prostate with each inward thrust even as his left hand pumped the younger man's erection with a firm grip. His right hand dug into the lean flesh of Obi-Wan's hip, unknowingly leaving a bruise behind, so great was Qui-Gon's need.

 

"Yes, yes, yes... Harder... Oh Gods... QUI-GON!" Obi-Wan screamed out ferociously as he shuddered and came harder than ever before.

 

"Obi-Wan... my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon gasped as his life-mate's inner muscles clamped down hard on Qui-Gon's thrusting cock, milking the steely flesh. Qui-Gon bit down hard on his lip and orgasmed powerfully, sending streaming jets of his life essence into the body of his beloved Obi-Wan.

 

Collapsing onto Obi-Wan's back, Qui-Gon tried to gather his wits about him as he hugged his Life-bonded tightly to him. "Ohhhh... my Obi-Wan..."

 

Obi-Wan snapped back into his own mind with an almost violent intensity and quickly returned to his rooms, more confused than ever. He and Qui-Gon were lovers? Life-mates? They were life-bonded, and neither Qui-Gon nor the healers thought to share that important little fact with him? What else were they hiding, he wondered angrily.

 

Pacing back and forth like a caged tybar, Obi-Wan at last reached his breaking point. He couldn't breathe; he couldn't stay here a moment longer. Throwing on a pair of breeches, loose shirt, his boots and his robe, Obi-Wan quickly left the cottage. He needed to get away, to sort out his seething thoughts and emotions. The sighing waves beckoned him on.

 

Obi-Wan had been wandering for the better part of the night, but still his emotions boiled and ate at him. He'd walked halfway around the island to the landing strip and still the answer, the memories refused to come. Sighing, he sat down where the sand of the beach gave way to the hardened earth of the landing area and emptied his mind. He sat there, simply being, watching the transports come and go. Perhaps he was trying too hard. Slowly, without realizing it, Obi-Wan slipped into slumber and began to dream once more. Disjointed dreams full of pain and rejection.

 

"I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner." He doesn't want me any more. "There is nothing else I can teach Obi-Wan." Maybe Life-bonds aren't meant to last forever "The Council will decide Anakin's fate; that should be enough for you. Now get on board." He doesn't love me anymore... Oh... It hurts. I want to die... Jerking awake, a cry of denial on his lips, Obi-Wan tried to figure out where he was. He was at the landing strip and... He remembered! "I remember everything!" Obi-Wan breathed. He remembered... Qui-Gon dying and him being given a choice by the Ancestors. He remembered... "Oh Force... he took another Padawan; he didn't want me anymore... he... He doesn't need me anymore." There was a burning behind his eyes, and the back of Obi-Wan's throat ached with the need to scream at his loss.

 

No! Enough self-pity. He doesn't want me any more, and the Council doesn't think I'm ready for my Trials. Well, I'll make it easier on everyone. Standing and quickly surveying the landing strip, the heart-sore Jedi made his decision. He quickly made his way to a nearby transport, preparing to leave. If neither the Jedi nor his life-bonded... former life-bonded, he amended painfully, wanted him, so be it. "I'm out of here."

 

Qui-Gon's dreams had started out pleasantly enough, even if they were a little frustrating sexually. He was with his Obi-Wan, and all was right in his world. Then... disjointed dreams of Qui-Gon taking Anakin as his Padawan, rejecting Obi-Wan, denying their love and their life-bond. Feelings of pain and rejection and despair so deep he wanted to die. And the thought that maybe life-bonds aren't meant to last forever...

 

"Obi-Wan!" Bolting up in bed, Qui-Gon reached out for his life-mate's mind, in spite of what the healers had warned. Obi-Wan was remembering at last and was hurting. Qui-Gon needed to touch his mind to his love's - to reassure Obi-Wan that he was loved, that a life-bond, their life-bond would last forever... but he felt nothing. Obi-Wan wasn't in their quarters; he wasn't on the island; he wasn't even on the planet. Obi-Wan was gone.

 

"No! Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon cried out in grief and rage. Obi-Wan had left him. "You promised to never leave me..." he whispered into the night. "I will find you, love... no matter how long it takes. I will find you, and somehow I will prove to you, convince you that we are forever."

 

END


	5. 5. Act IV: Sorrow

"We were surprised to find you on Bandomeer, old friend," Si Treemba commented as he gently tried to nudge Obi-Wan into eating. "You must try the Maran fruit salad. It's one of our own recipes." The Obi-Wan Kenobi that sat before him now was a pale shell of the man he knew. Gone was that sparkle, the dry wit, and the wicked humor... the will to live. What had wrought this awful change?

 

Obi-Wan automatically took a bite of the dish, not really tasting it but trying to please his friend. He'd had no idea of where he was going when he left Sellonia and his... But he'd somehow ended up on Bandomeer. How ironic, he thought acidly, that I should end up where it all began. He'd almost turned around and boarded the next transport to Force knew where, when Si Treemba had spotted him. His friend had insisted that Obi-Wan come home with him.

 

"We saw a Ben Kenobi on the manifest but did not realize it was you. We are so used to hearing you being called Obi-Wan."

 

"He doesn't exist any more, Si Treemba," came the hard, flat reply. "I'm just plain old Ben Kenobi now - who I've always been meant to be." And it hurt. Gods how it still hurt!

 

"So you are a Jedi now?" Si Treemba persisted, knowing full well there was something terribly wrong with his friend and hoping that perhaps he could help Obi-Wan at last. Repay an old debt of friendship.

 

"No. I left. I didn't belong," Ben replied, cold and dead inside. "Forgive me, Si Treemba, but I'm still exhausted from my trip and old injuries. I think I'll turn in." Climbing wearily to his feet, Ben bid a melancholy goodnight to his friend and retired to his rooms to face yet another sleepless night of torment.

 

"Not good... This is not good at all. But what to do? His heart cries out to be Jedi, and his soul cries out for his Master. Yet if we interfere in such a delicate matter, we may very well lose our dearest friend. Oh, what tangled webs people weave around their lives," Si Treemba whispered to the night air. There must be a way to help... he just had to think of it.

 

Over the next month Obi-Wan - Ben - slowly regained his strength. He began training again, though he never picked up a practice sword. He'd left his lightsaber behind when he'd left his old life. No sense reopening the barely healed emotional scars. His body was weapon enough, and the training from his past life served him well in that regard. He learned how to use a blaster though, just in case.

 

He had stayed with Si Treemba at first but by a strange twist of fate was offered a position he couldn't turn down and quarters in an opulent household. Ben knew he'd never be a farmer, and he didn't want to go back to his family on Corellia; that would be the first place people would look for him - if they bothered to look for him at all. One day, while in the market with his friend, a tremor in the Force alerted him to danger, and before he'd had time to think of it, Ben was scooping up a child in danger of getting run over by a speeder going full tilt. He gave the child back to the shaken nanny and had left the market quickly. That night he was paid a visit by the father of the little girl he'd rescued.

 

Damar Indigor was the Ionian ambassador to Bandomeer. He informed Ben that there had been numerous attempts made on his life because he refused to deal unfairly with the Bandomeerans, despite what the Trade Federation wished. He was an honest man, but with the way the Galactic Senate was under Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, it seemed honesty was no longer a virtue but something to be punished. Recently, however, there had been attempts made against his family too, and this worried him.

 

His nanny had informed him of Ben's actions and the amazing speed and skill he had displayed. Would Ben perhaps consider becoming a protector to the ambassador's children? They were the truly vulnerable ones. Damar didn't mind if something happened to him; he was old enough to understand the risks he took. But his children should not be made to suffer.

 

It was a plea Ben could not resist, so deeply ingrained was his training. He agreed to assist the ambassador until a trusted replacement could be found on Ionus. He tried to explain to the ambassador that he had no previous experience, but his excuses were brushed aside.

 

Ben's things were quickly packed, and he was installed in a set of private rooms in the ambassador's residence shortly thereafter. He would meet the children in the morning, Damar promised him, and would merely have to ensure their well being. Due to the scare of today the children would be staying at home for the next few days, which would also allow them time to get to know Ben and Ben time to know them. It all happened so quickly that Ben barely had time to catch his breath, let alone wonder if he was doing the correct thing.

 

"Yes, this is Damar Indigor, Ionian Ambassador to Bandomeer. I need to speak with Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn... Yes, it is urgent... No, I do not wish to leave a message... Oh very well... Tell him... tell him I know where he can find something he's lost... Yes, that's what I said... Thank you." Damar delicately ended the link lest he throw the hapless piece of equipment across the room. He just prayed that the message would be delivered to Master Jinn.

 

Damar's conscience twinged a bit at the thought that he was deceiving the nice young man who'd saved his daughter's life, but he owed Qui-Gon Jinn a life debt, and he intended to pay it. He would keep young Obi-Wan Kenobi safe and occupied until Master Jinn showed up to claim him and in doing so would fulfill a promise he'd made long ago.

 

Many years ago during a time of unrest on Ionus, a much younger Jedi Knight named Qui-Gon Jinn rescued a much younger Damar Indigor and his family from certain death. His braid hadn't even been shorn off a standard year when he'd come to Ionus to help settle the fighting and had found himself the recipient of a life debt, one he had not wanted.

 

Over the years Damar had kept an eye on Qui-Gon Jinn's rise through the Jedi ranks. He was determined to see that the honor debt was paid to the brave Jedi who'd done so much for his family. Discovering that the young man who'd saved his daughter was none other than Master Jinn's Padawan Learner gave him the means to repay. Damar just hoped he wasn't stepping into events he would have been better staying out of.

 

"He has nightmares, Daddy," Lyria told Damar a week later.

 

"Who does, my precious?" the ambassador asked absently. He was reading some correspondence in his office, and his daughter was keeping him company for the moment.

 

"Mister Ben. I hear him sometimes, crying and yelling. Then I see him leave his room, and he always looks like he's been crying. He goes to the garden and just sits there. But I always get too sleepy to see when he comes back in, so I don't know when he does."

 

"Do you hear what he says, my precious?" Damar asked with trepidation. He might have been hasty in contacting Qui-Gon after all.

 

"He says Master and why don't you want me any more. He's very sad the next day after having a nightmare. I think his heart is hurting, like yours was when Mommy died," the young girl said solemnly, cuddling in her father's lap.

 

Oh no, what have I interfered with? Damar wondered, horrified at what he might have done.

 

Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn cloaked himself in the night, drawing the Force tightly around him so he'd be undetectable, as he stepped of the Jedi Transport, which had brought him to Bandomeer. He'd cursed himself every manner of fool when he'd finally got Ambassador Indigor's message. He should have known this would be where Obi-Wan would go. Back to the beginning - completing his circle of pain.

 

My Obi-Wan, I've hurt you this much, that you would come back here to lose yourself? Qui-Gon's heart ached. He couldn't help but admire his life-bonded though, despite his personal pain. I always knew you were strong, love, but still I am surprised at just how strong you are. Coming here to face your demons... such will, such courage. I am proud of you, my Obi-Wan. I will find a way to convince you of this, of how much I love you, Qui-Gon swore.

 

Moving wraith-like through the streets of Bandor, Qui-Gon reached his first destination. Forewarned was forearmed, and who better to tell him of Obi-Wan's condition than an old friend. He knocked softly on the door. A few seconds later it slid open. "We were hoping it might be you. Come in. We have much to speak of."

 

"He calls himself Ben now and refuses to talk of his old life," Si Treemba informed the Jedi Master sadly. "He says he is not a Jedi - that he is what he should always have been. He guards the lives of Ambassador Indigor's children. He is very good with them. Yet, yet he is not the person he used to be. He is cloaked in sorrow now and pain."

 

"Ben has lost a great deal of weight and looks as if he hasn't had a solid night's sleep since arriving here. He is slowly coming apart at the seams, Master Qui-Gon, but he refuses to see it." Si Treemba paused and looked Qui-Gon over carefully. "Forgive us for saying so, Master Qui-Gon, but you don't look so well yourself."

 

"We were both gravely wounded not so long ago, my young friend, and we are both suffering from being separated from each other," Qui-Gon murmured, still trying to accept what Si Treemba said. Obi-Wan was denying his past and his identity? He believed he was no longer Jedi? This was going to be even more difficult than he had first imagined.

 

"Why should being separated cause you to look like this?" Si Treemba asked, perplexed.

 

"We are life-bonded, Si Treemba. Although separation, even death, will not end our lives, there are repercussions to one or both of the life-bonded pair. Physical and mental repercussions which we are both experiencing. It is rather like Spice withdrawal," Qui-Gon explained absently. How easy it would be to let go his mantle of control and let their bond re-connect. Both he and Obi-Wan would recover from their separation immediately, but Obi-Wan would know he was here - something Qui-Gon was loathe to have happen just yet.

 

"Life-bonded? Obi - we mean Ben never told us..." Si Treemba trailed off. The stark pain that his thoughtless comment caused was apparent on Qui-Gon's face.

 

"Because he thought I severed the bond," Qui-Gon whispered wrenchingly. "We had a... misunderstanding. One that I will find a way to rectify," Qui-Gon swore - more as a comfort to himself than to alleviate Si Treemba's worry.

 

Qui-Gon bid goodnight to Si Treemba a short time after. It took a considerable amount of willpower, but he turned away from the siren call of his life-mate and procured quarters for himself in a local inn. He was so close and yet... he suspected that Obi-Wan would bolt upon seeing him. So much hurt. Never again would he assume anything where Obi-Wan was concerned. Never again would he take his beloved for granted.

 

"Master! No, don't do this!" Ben cried out as he was thrust into consciousness. Running his hands through his damp hair, Ben's fingers caught on his braid. It was the only thing he hadn't been able to shed. It was his sackcloth and ashes, the constant reminder of his failure. His penance.

 

No, damnit! He hadn't failed. He'd been failed. But had he? Qui-Gon could very well have been hurting from Obi-Wan's perceived lack of faith... and he knew how focused Qui-Gon became when he thought he was right. If he truly believed the child was the 'chosen one'.

 

But why did he have to abandon me to follow his great and glorious quest to train the boy. Why couldn't I have been part of that dream? Wasn't I good enough? Ben thought, despairingly.

 

Slipping out of bed and out into the night, Ben wandered the garden aimlessly for a while before sitting on the cold stone bench that had become his most frequented haunt. Before the bench was a little pond, with a fountain in the center. The lulling sound of the water had helped him slip into a light trance many times before, but tonight he was too unsettled. There was something... out there, beyond the garden walls... something that he couldn't quite grasp on to, an elusive, ghostly presence that seemed to weigh heavily on his mind. Ben tried to clear his thoughts, concentrate on the moment... but introspection beckoned.

 

How had he ended up here, at this crossroads in his life? Where had the path gone so wrong? How should he go on? How could he set himself on the right path again, before it was too late, before the darkness began to hunt him? The moon cast a reflection in the pool, silent sentinel to Ben's inner struggles, its cold fire and ghostly light illuminating unworthy truths. He had failed - failed himself... and Qui-Gon.

 

The ugly truth was that Ben had given up. Given up on himself, on Qui-Gon, on their love. He'd taken the easy way out - and sought his own death. When that hadn't worked, he'd hidden behind a wall of forgetfulness to bury the pain within. When that too failed, he had blamed Qui-Gon for his own failings and had run away, like a coward or a petulant child. It was time to grow up. To face his failings and hope that Qui-Gon could forgive him, hope that he could forgive himself.

 

It was time for Ben to well and truly consign his childhood to the past. He was Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Apprentice, Padawan Learner and Life-Bonded to Master Qui-Gon Jinn. It was time to be the 'man' he always informed his Master he'd become. Accept his failings and his flaws - accept Qui-Gon's failing and flaws, and heal. It was time to go home.

 

END


	6. 6. Act V: Forgiveness

Leaving Bandomeer was easier said than done. Obi-Wan had responsibilities, a promise to be kept to the ambassador and his family. Which meant he couldn't leave until a replacement was found. One that Obi-Wan could trust. There was also Si Treemba. He owed his friend an explanation before he left. He owed many people many things.

 

Facing the Council with his actions was by far the hardest thing to do, however.

 

"I hope you will forgive my change of heart, Ambassador. I cannot in good conscience continue down this road though. I am a Jedi or at least a Jedi Padawan. I have to go back. I need to go back," Obi-Wan explained. He'd told Indigor most of the story, glossing over the more intimate parts.

 

The ambassador had been extremely gracious and for some reason just a little guilty. He'd offered Obi-Wan the use of his personal communications room to contact the Council. An offer Obi-Wan was both grateful for and loathe to accept. Chiding himself on his un-Jedi like response, Obi-Wan squared his shoulders and contacted the Council.

 

"Worried for you we have been, young Kenobi," Master Yoda said softly. He and Mace Windu were the only ones present at this conference. They were the only ones who knew of his disappearance from Sellonia. "Afraid for you and the struggle you faced alone."

 

Obi-Wan was more than humbled and awed at their calm acceptance of what he had done. He'd abandoned the Jedi, the temple and his Master and life-bonded, yet they were treating him as if he'd gone on a holiday. He had thought for sure he'd be reprimanded, maybe even told he couldn't take his trials... but no, he was being welcomed home with open arms. "Forgive me, Masters, but you aren't upset with my behavior?"

 

Mace Windu hid his smile from the guilt-stricken young man. Obi-Wan failed to see that his own guilt was 'punishment' enough for the Jedi Masters. Obi-Wan had suffered greatly these past few months, as had Qui-Gon. Both men would emerge from their personal struggles stronger for them. Obi-Wan had grown-up, matured through his experience. He would be an equal partner to Qui-Gon now, of that the Jedi Master had no doubt.

 

Hopefully these events had ensured that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon would emerge more committed to one another than before. Life bondings were rare indeed among the Jedi, and a bonding that was as successful as Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's happened once in a lifetime. Mace fought the desire to curse his stubborn fool of a friend for hurting this young man. This incident was coming to a conclusion, and that was all that mattered.

 

"When you return to Coruscant, Padawan Kenobi, you will face your Trials. And you will pass them. Of that we have no doubt," Mace told the confused young man. Then, more softly, "You've been through more emotional upheaval in the last few months than most of us go through in a lifetime, Obi-Wan. That you have survived your inner struggles still following the light path, that you have not bowed to despair and grief speaks volumes. You always have been and always will be an asset to the Jedi. You do the order proud - Jedi Knight."

 

Obi-Wan stammered out his thanks, hardly daring to believe what he'd heard. Mace Windu had called him a Jedi Knight! Could it be that his dreams were not so unattainable after all? He took note of the name of the transport the Council was sending to pick him up and time of its arrival, still in a daze. Perhaps thing were going to be all right after... no, he still had to deal with Qui-Gon. Nothing could be settled until then.

 

"He contacted us less than an hour ago, Qui-Gon, and told us everything - from his point of view. We already know your version of the story. He's a strong and courageous young man. He will be an asset to the Order, of that we are sure. We are sending the Dauntless to retrieve him. It will arrive on Bandomeer eight hours prior to the time we gave him. Be on that ship, Qui-Gon Jinn. You will have him to yourself for one standard week. The captain and crew of the ship will be told to avoid the Jedi's quarters at all costs. Make sure this is settled before you get back. The last thing that man needs is to be emotionally unbalanced when he faces his Trials. And he will take his Trials when he returns. Obi-Wan is ready," Mace informed his long-time friend. "Don't mess this up, Qui-Gon, because I have a feeling you're not going to get another chance."

 

Qui-Gon bowed his head as he ended the communication. He didn't want Mace to see the sheen of tears in his eyes. Obi-Wan was coming home, coming back to him. At last.

 

Obi-Wan wasn't sure which was harder - saying goodbye to Si Treemba or to the sweet little girl who'd stolen a piece of his heart. In the end he decided both were equally difficult. Kyria had sniffled and hugged him tight - then proceeded to give him her favorite stuffed Ewok to remember her by. Obi-Wan had nearly cried too. He'd hugged her close and promised to visit if he was ever on Bandomeer again.

 

Si Treemba was equally difficult to say goodbye to.

 

"Thank you, my friend, from the bottom of my heart. Without you I think I would have lost myself in grief. You were the rock I clung to," Obi-Wan told his oldest friend while hugging the Arkonan close.

 

"We were only too happy to help you, dear friend. We owe you our life and the lives of our people. Beyond that you are our closest friend. We saw your pain and wished to soothe it. We are glad you have rediscovered your path. You were born to be Jedi. Your heart cries out for it, just as your soul cries out for your Master. Be happy, Obi-Wan Kenobi - and be Jedi." With one last fierce hug Si Treemba let his friend board the transport that would take him back to his future.

 

Obi-Wan slung his pack over his shoulder and followed the steward to his quarters. He was exhausted and needed to get some sleep. A week of nothing but the silence of space would help to prepare him for the coming battles. He almost laughed. Since when had facing Qui-Gon become a battle? And yet, that was exactly how he saw it. He was fighting for his life and his love. And he would win, Obi-Wan was certain of that.

 

His steps faltered as he was led past a sealed room. There was something... no someone inside. Someone who was masking his presence. But who...? Shaking his head and tamping down his curiosity, Obi-Wan entered the room that the steward had opened for him. It was none of his concern who the Council brought to Coruscant, and he had more important things to occupy himself with than a mystery passenger.

 

Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief as he felt Obi-Wan continue on. He was not about to reveal himself to his love just yet. Not until they were within the icy cocoon of space and there was nothing else for Obi-Wan to do but to face him. They would deal with this soon enough. He was determined to reclaim his life-bonded, and by the Force he would not let Obi-Wan's stubbornness stop him this time. There was nowhere for the bratling to run now - except into his Master's open arms.

 

Obi-Wan shucked out of his clothes and slid tiredly between the cool sheets. It had been ages since he'd had a good night's sleep. The nightmares had stopped when he had decided to come home, but there'd been so many other things to take care of that he'd yet been able to get the rest his body needed. Although it was the height of laziness Obi-Wan decided to sleep until he could sleep no more. The sound of the ship's engines kicking into gear and the whine of the hyperdrive engine lulled him into the first peaceful slumber since... since before he'd set foot on that accursed planet of Tatooine.

 

When he thought enough time had passed, Qui-Gon left his quarters and made his way down the narrow hallway to Obi-Wan's quarters. The Captain had given him the override code, so he punched it in and moved silently inside, hoping to catch his lover unawares.

 

Instead it was he who was caught by surprise. There was Obi-Wan, sound asleep and gloriously, wantonly naked - exposed to his Master's hot and hungry gaze. Obi-Wan had restlessly kicked off the covers as he'd rolled onto his back, unknowingly leaving him exposed to Qui-Gon's ravenous eyes.

 

Qui-Gon keyed in his own personal code, locking the crew out and Obi-Wan in. Then slowly, deliberately he stripped out of his clothes and joined his love on the bed. He shuddered voluptuously as he closed his arms around Obi-Wan and sighed. The ache in his heart that had been there these past months faded away as he held his love to him. The pain of the denied life-bond faded as the torn places inside both men healed and mended now that they were connected once more.

 

Obi-Wan turned onto his side and snuggled back against the heat of his Master's chest, thrusting his hips back into the aroused flesh of his life-mate, still firmly entangled in his dreams. Qui-Gon moaned with need. He was hard and aching. He wanted nothing more then to sink into Obi-Wan's heat, to reclaim his life-bonded in the most intimate and expressive way he could. He wanted to join his body with his love's, to feel Obi-Wan's heat consume him even as he possessed Obi-Wan's body. Only through a sheer force of will did Qui-Gon clamp down on his desire and join his love in sleep. Morning would come soon enough and with it, their reckoning.

 

Hands were moving up and down his chest, caressing and petting. Fingers carded through his sparse covering of red-gold curls and tweaked his hardened nipples. Lips suctioned on his neck, kissing and nipping. A tongue traced the curve of his ear, before dipping inside to tease then moved back to his neck, tasting the saltiness of his skin. The hands moved, one down to his blood-engorged phallus, the other up to his lips, and he pulled it into his needy mouth, suckling on it. He whimpered as it was removed then moaned as it was replaced in a more intimate location.

 

Slowly the finger breached his anus, moving and rotating... sending fireworks shooting through his nerves. The finger was removed and replaced with two more, stretching and filling him. The something else was filling him. Something larger and hotter and longer. Moaning, he thrust himself back into the heat. So long... it had been so long since he was taken like this. A mind brushed his, and his pleasure increased. Qui-Gon - beloved...

 

My Obi-Wan. Ohhhh, you feel so good. I've missed you my love... I've missed you.

 

Obi-Wan was rolled onto his stomach and pulled into a kneeling position without the connection of flesh being severed. Sleepily he opened his eyes as he braced himself against the wall. Qui-Gon's hands held his hips in a vise grip as he began to thrust harder and harder into the beloved body writhing beneath him.

 

Yes, oh yes - harder, I need to feel you harder and deeper inside me than ever. I've missed you, oh how I've missed you, Master, Obi-Wan sent as he reached down and began jerking his own cock in a rough rhythm. So close...he was so...

 

"MAASSTTEERR..." Obi-Wan cried out as the flash fire of his orgasm swept through him, burning every nerve ending with pleasure. Above him Qui-Gon roared out his pleasure as tight inner muscles clamped down on his thrusting cock, squeezing it tightly, milking his cock, bringing him to a star shattering orgasm.

 

Collapsing into the mattress, Obi-Wan felt himself blanketed by his lover's large body. A bearded chin tickled his shoulder as a wet mouth suckled on his neck. I love you... oh how I love you... never leave me again. My Obi-Wan... I won't let you leave me again... you belong to me. Forever, came the disjointed thoughts. It was real. Qui-Gon was above him, in him - in his body and mind. The mystery guest...

 

"Get off me..." came the low, warning growl.

 

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon shook his head to clear the sleep from his mind and realized where he was. Who he was with and what had just happened...

 

"Get. Off. Me. Now!" the deadly voice reiterated.

 

Qui-Gon levered himself off his now infuriated lover. He tried to reach for Obi-Wan, but the younger man erupted from the bed - furious beyond words.

 

"Just who the hell do you think you are!" Obi-Wan yelled. "How dare you come in here and seduce me and pretend like everything is as it was? How dare you think that I would let you!"

 

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon tried to soothe "I didn't mean to... I was half-asleep, love..."

 

"And that's supposed to make it all right? It's supposed to take away the pain and the fear and the self-loathing? It's supposed to make me believe that none of this ever happened? You ripped my soul to sheds, Qui-Gon. You rejected me, our bond, my place in your life - everything I am - with no warning. I could have lived with you taking another Padawan - I would have lived with it. That's the way of things. But to do it so coldly, without warning. Why didn't you just tear my still beating heart out of my chest?" Obi-Wan seethed.

 

"I loved you above all else, even being a Jedi - I would have given that up for you willingly, did you know that? No, you never even bothered to ask. You assumed I would know your mind without sharing it with me. You assumed too much. I thought you loved me, Qui-Gon, I thought we were life-mates. How could you do that to me?" he whispered, rage leaving him as he collapsed, naked, hugging his knees protectively to his chest.

 

Qui-Gon was off the bed instantly, cradling Obi-Wan to his chest. "I do love you, Obi. You are my life, my breath, my heart, and my soul. Never doubt that, my love. I was blind and foolish, hurting the one person who mattered most in this universe. You are my light, my salvation, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You keep me focused and sane. You know me better than anyone, all my faults and flaws, and still you love me. Oh Force above, I don't deserve you." Qui-Gon's throat ached with Obi-Wan's pain. Again he'd misstepped and hurt the one he loved. Again he'd failed.

 

"I cannot begin to tell you how important you are to me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. My life isn't my life without you in it. You are the other half of my heart, my soul. You are my life-bonded, my life-mate. Not a day has gone by since you left that I have not ached for you, cried for you. The boy is just that - a boy - one who needs protection from the dark things that will hunt him. But you - you are everything precious and wonderful in my life. In you I see a galaxy of possibilities and a universe of love. Without you by my side I have no life, no purpose. We are forever, love. Never doubt that again. Our life-bond will last forever. I will love you forever."

 

Obi-Wan's breath hitched in his throat as he looked up at his love through rain-washed eyes. In the dark blue gaze he could see answering tears and equal pain. Slowly he reached up and hesitatingly brushed his hand down a beloved cheek. "My Qui-Gon?" a small, shaky voice whispered.

 

"Always, always your Qui-Gon as you are forever my Obi-Wan. Never leave me again, love. Rage at me, hit me, even hate me. But never leave me. I nearly went mad these past weeks without you. I could not survive losing you," Qui-Gon pleaded. "Forgive me my trespasses, love. Forgive a blind, hurtful man who loves you more than his own worthless life. Although I don't deserve it, forgive me."

 

"Only if you forgive me. I was a coward, a child. I should have stayed and faced you, faced us, but I ran and left you with pain. I was wrong. How I ever thought I could live without you I cannot fathom. We are one, Qui-Gon Jinn. I am made for you and you alone," Obi-Wan pledged.

 

"As I am for you, love. But I warn you right now, Obi-Wan - if you ever willingly seek your death again, I will not be responsible for my actions. You belong to me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; your life is mine, and I want that life merged with mine for as long as possible. Do you understand me?" Qui-Gon shook him in emphasis.

 

Moving so that he was kneeling face to face with his life, Obi-Wan kissed Qui-Gon with dozens of soft kisses. "Never again, Qui-Gon. Never again will I doubt you, doubt us. I swear."

 

"Very well, so long as you understand," Qui-Gon growled seductively. "Now let's go back to bed, love. Coruscant is a week away, and we have lost time to make up for."

 

"Yes, Master."

 

END


	7. 7. Curtain Call: Destiny

The honed silver blade sliced down, severing the cord beneath it. "An Apprentice no longer, but a Jedi Knight. Obi-Wan Kenobi has passed his Trials and now takes his place among us as Knight and Teacher. It has been decided by the Council, and by the generosity of his heart, that Obi-Wan shall assist me in training Anakin Skywalker in the arts of the Jedi," Qui-Gon Jinn informed the assembly as he severed the braid that had denoted his love a student.

 

Pulling Obi-Wan to his feet, he looked in those beloved sea-green eyes. "No longer made to walk behind me, now I ask you to walk beside me - my equal, my partner in all things."

 

"I would be honored to walk beside you, Qui-Gon Jinn," Obi-Wan replied, a rare smile spreading across his lips. Now was not the time to announce their life-bond. Oh, the Council knew - they always had known - but it was not public knowledge; there was a protocol to be observed.

 

Applause swept through the hall, and many came forward to congratulate the new Knight. His choice of assignments was joked about but accepted. It was common knowledge that Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were the best field team among the Jedi, and no one believed the Council would mess with a good thing.

 

The war came swiftly and painfully. Palpatine took no chances. He would rule the galaxy with an iron fist. Or so he thought.

 

The Jedi fought back, and the battle was hard and bloody. Many planets rallied behind them such as Alderaan and Naboo. Obi-Wan rose quickly through the ranks to become a great General, Qui-Gon ever at his side. Anakin became a Jedi during the conflict and took Amidala as his wife but did not turn to the Dark.

 

Without another to take his Apprentice's place, Palpatine's darkness was soon extinguished and Coruscant reclaimed by all but the Jedi. Too many of their kind had been slaughtered in the once sacred halls of the Jedi temple. They would rebuild, not on Coruscant, but on Yavin.

 

Through all the pain and grief and loss there were a few moments of true joy. Luke and Leia Skywalker came into the world - powerful in the Force, with glorious destinies. Equally joyous - Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi declared their bond before the remnants of the once great Jedi Order. Their love for one another plain to see. Their bond a shining example of the will of the Force.

 

When the time came to rebuild and the Council replenished, it was no surprise that Jedi Master Jinn was named as co-council to Master Yoda. Both Masters still felt the anguish at the loss of their trusted friend Mace Windu, but by taking his seat, Qui-Gon gave him the only honor he could. He continued Mace's legacy of fairness and justice.

 

Obi-Wan retired from the military and became the Temple Master. To him fell the training of the all those new hopes for the Jedi order. And he did well. Anakin became the Jedi liaison to Coruscant when his wife bowed to the wishes of the New Republic Senate and became President of the New Republic. In time Luke and Leia were sent to the Temple and trained by Obi-Wan, just as their father had been.

 

They too followed their destinies. Leia took her mother's place as Queen of Naboo and eventually President of the New Republic. Luke became a great Jedi in his own right and eventually a Jedi Master, teaching at Obi-Wan's side. Each of the twins found love in unexpected places, Leia with a roguish starship captain named Han Solo and Luke with the equally roguish Commander of Rogue Squadron - Wedge Antilles, hero of Corellia and servant of the Republic Alliance Star Fleet.

 

Slowly, balance was restored to the galaxy. There were heartaches and growing pains, yes, but the brush with darkness made everyone grateful for the freedom they were given, so they worked together to create a new, stronger galactic order. One that followed the Jedi Code as a tribute to all those who sacrificed so much to bring about peace.

 

Steadfast and true throughout all these changes, throughout the years, were life-bond mates Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Always together, always in love and loving. They were the strength and the heart of the new Jedi order.

 

When at last it was time for them to move on into the Force, they did this as they did everything else in their lives - together. Forever one heart and one soul in two bodies. Forever loved and beloved, merging at last into the very web of life that created them and bonded them each other. Destined to love one another eternally.

 

END


End file.
